Retirement
by Kavery12
Summary: In which General Jack O'Neill and SG-1 learn that even the edge of the universe isn't insurmountable and 'accidentally' put themselves out of contact with the IOA so they can continue to do what SG-1 does best - explore. In this case, explore Starfleet.
1. Retirement

I do not own Star Trek 2009, Supernatural, Stargate SG-1 or NCIS: LA.

This was supposed to be part three of _Collisions_ but it spiralled out of control and grew enormous. You should probably read _Collisions_ first otherwise you'll be wondering how SG-1 ended up meeting Starfleet.

* * *

><p>"You know what the problem is with being retired, Carter?"<p>

"No sir."

"You end up thinking you miss this."

"Do you, sir?"

"Thought I did until we got stranded in deep space with no way home."

There was a snort. "Oh come on Jack, it's not _that_ bad."

"Yet, Daniel, yet. The universe just kicked us in the pursqueeter and now I'm waiting for her to punch us in the teeth."

"You're becoming a pessimist in your old age." There was a yelp and a squawk.

"I'm not old, I'm a seasoned veteran and don't forget it."

"Jack, gib me back my glasses."

"O'Neill, was it necessary to assault DanielJackson's nose and abduct his glasses?"

"I was bored so yes! Carter, do we have a way back yet?"

There was a zapping sound, sparks flew and a flyaway blonde head popped up over the console, bright blue eyes glaring at her team mates. "No! And it might go faster if you all decided to follow Cam's example and tried to help!"

"_Sam, you ready to test that conduit?"_ Cam's voice crackled through the temperamental comm system.

"Momma's boy," Jack scoffed and then shrank back as Carter continued to glare.

"I have an entire damned Daedalus-class ship to repair. Either go away or come help. Yes Cam I am, just a second."

"Has anyone seen Vala?" Daniel asked as a change of topic, blinking shortsightedly from where he was slouched in the co-pilot's chair.

Everyone glanced about and shook their heads. Finally Teal'c volunteered. "I have not seen her for some time but she said she was going to ascertain that the kitchen was fully stocked."

Jack twirled Daniel's glasses and slipped them on. "Damn Daniel, you're _blind_."

"Shut up, Jack."

Carter rolled her eyes and disappeared back under the console.

* * *

><p><em>Six hours later<em>…

Carter cursed and slammed the naquadria generator hatch shut.

"Carter?" Jack asked, having drifted aimlessly down to the engine room with her after Daniel had threatened to clap Jack in an ancient Goauld torture chamber.

The astrophysicist took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

It wasn't working.

"Carter, talk to me," Jack said in his "Colonel O'Neill" voice.

Carter rubbed her forehead. "Sir, we're stranded. That hit we took fused several key parts together and I can't MacGyver replacements. We're not going anywhere. We can't even go back and pick up the rest of the crew on P4-5C3."

"Okay," Jack said slowly, slipping back into the SG-1 dynamic seamlessly. "Do we have any alternative options? Anything insane and life-threatening that only you could pull off?"

"Sir, we are in the most deserted quadrant of space we've encountered yet. The only thing we've ever found out here were the…" her voice trailed off.

"The?" Jack prompted.

"No, that's crazy," Carter dismissed it.

"Carter, as much as I like messing with Daniel and Mitchell and as much as I like running around with you and Teal'c, floating dead, literally and figuratively, in space is not my idea of fun. Talk crazy."

Carter propped a hip against the nearest console. "Well, eight months ago we encountered an anomalous wormhole that brought us to another universe entirely. I was inclined to think it was another reality because the other ships involved in the encounter were indeed alternate reality versions of the ship we ended up meeting, but realized that we were the only ship that jumped universes and that the other ships were just a side-effect."

Jack's eyebrows bunched up and he shook his head. "What?"

"The wonder-shuttle."

"What about it?"

"This is the sector of space where we found the wormhole that took us to the wonder-shuttle's universe."

"So?"

Carter picked up her faithful tablet and started scribbling out calculations. "There was a gate that we skipped through when it opened. I know typically our stargates are one way, that they have to be opened in the right direction in order to go through, but we were actually yanked through this one instead of flying through on our own power and I'm inclined to think it's a two-way, inter-universal prototype. We looked for evidence of research relating to the 'gate but never found any. I think we should try powering up the 'gate and going through it to find Starfleet. They might lend us a shuttle."

Jack shrugged. "Great."

Carter seemed to have hit her second wind now that she had a new idea. "I need Vala and Teal'c down here ASAP."

Jack punched the comm button. "Let's go universe-hopping."

* * *

><p><em>Impala<em>

"Bored, bored, _bored_," Dean droned. "Why the hell couldn't we drag _Enterprise_ with us again?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Because this quadrant of space has been quiet for eight months and we're only swinging through this extra bit of space because _Impala_'s fast enough to do so and still meet her courier on time. It's all your fault for letting the brass know we're the fastest ship in the 'Fleet. Whoa, wait a minute," he muttered as his scans fluctuated wildly. "We're getting a reading! Wormhole opening!"

"Ori dudes again?" Dean asked. "Cas, put the ship on yellow alert."

"No, but it's not the SG-1 pyramid ship either. It's something bigger and if my scans are right, honestly it looks more Earth-tech than anything else." Sam twiddled a few more buttons. "They're hailing us."

"On screen," Dean ordered. "Hey! It's Mitchell!"

"Winchester!" Lieutenant Colonel Mitchell greeted in return, waving at smoke spewing from the bulky console in front of him.

"Dude, your ship looks like it's seen better days," Dean began critically.

Mitchell chuckled shortly, thumping a fist on the top of his station. "You think? We're dead in the water after that little stunt. She was on her last leg before we crammed her through a 'gate between universes. We were hoping you could help us with repairs."

Dean arched an eyebrow, more than a little incredulous. "You hopped universes just for repairs."

Mitchell shrugged. "Without our hyperdrive, we were 1400 light-years from any sort of planet with a 'gate or tech to help us out. We figured even if we got stranded over here, it was better than dying in a giant steel coffin."

"Respected." Dean could get that. "Sam?"

His brother scanned the ship again. "Um, still not entirely up on their version of the warp drive, but the scans aren't promising."

"Captain!" Ash suddenly broke in. "Klingon bird of prey registering on our sensors!"

"Red alert," Dean ordered calmly. "Mitchell, we'll beam you aboard – "

"Not necessary," Mitchell replied. "Our hyperdrive might be fried but our shields and weapons are fully functional. We'll lend a hand. _Daedalus II_ has a pretty nasty bite."

Dean shrugged. "Two is always better than one."

* * *

><p><em>Daedalus II<em>

"You promised Winchester _what_?" Carter yelped and Mitchell ignored the indignant scientist, already in the pilot's seat.

"Carter, you said yourself they're pretty much going to have to get us a brand new ship. We may as well be useful in return."

"Mitchell's right," Jack chimed in, settling into the captain's seat. "Just keep us in one piece Carter so we can beat up the bad guys. Daniel, take the communications console. Teal'c, you're on weapons and Carter, Vala's your extra pair of hands."

"Who died and made you captain?" Daniel grumbled even as he plopped into position, slipping the headset on.

"I'm a general, technically this is below me," Jack grinned cheekily and Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Technically you're retired and I think it's been bad for you. You never flouted your rank before."

Jack swiveled in the chair, watching the bird of prey (dumb ass name for a ship if you asked Jack) start firing on the big ship labelled _Impala_. "You say that's a little Starfleet ship?" Jack demanded incredulously. "And I'm not flouting, _Dan_iel, I'm exercising."

"That's a little one sir and I'm pretty sure if you saw the _Enterprise_ you'd try to steal her." Mitchell brought the ship around.

"Shields are up, O'Neill. Preparing to engage weapons."

"Excellent. Teal'c, you know what to do."

The _Daedalus II_ may have had a crippled hyperdrive, but she was still packed full of Earth's patented never-say-die grit and she followed the _Impala_ into battle with all the enthusiasm that had brought down the Gouald.

"Fire all forward rail guns, Teal'c and Mitchell, I don't want to find out the hard way that their phaser-thingies are stronger than the wonder-shuttle's. Keep us from getting hit," Jack snapped out, already immersed in battle-adrenaline. "Daniel, make sure we're coordinating with the _Impala_. Ending up blue on blue would suck."

"Blue on blue?" Vala asked from the back of the bridge. "Sam said to," she ripped a few crystals out, jammed new ones back in and shook one vigorously, "make sure your control crystals were good. What's blue on blue?"

"Friendly fire," Daniel volunteered as the three warriors focused on hammering their new bad guy.

"The railguns are surprisingly effective," Teal'c commented calmly as he fired away at the Klingon ship. "I believe they do not have this form of energy technology."

"_Impala_ hailing," Daniel reported suddenly.

"On screen," Jack ordered. "General Jack O'Neill, Stargate Command. Captain Winchester, I presume?"

The sandy-haired captain nodded briskly. "Yep. Look, I've got a situation. We've gotta toast this bastard but we've just received notification that there's a massive atmosphere leak on a small science station a short distance from here. You're doing a damned good job of holding your own, but if we skip out to save the station we'll be leaving you in the lurch. I'm pretty sure your shields aren't calibrated to withstand disruptors. Can you hop over to the station and beam out the scientists before they end up in hard vacuum?"

"Carter, did you get all that?" Jack asked calmly.

"I did sir and we can, provided there aren't any more Klingons in the area."

Jack nodded to Winchester. "All right. Send us the coordinates and we'll have a look."

"Captain," a tall shaggy-headed kid (not really a kid but he reminded Jack of Daniel, complete with enthusiastic, altruistic face) broke in. "_Enterprise_ just confirmed that there are more Klingon ships in the area. They're headed our way at max warp but they won't make it in time to save the scientists. I don't – "

Jack glanced at his team, who all had that determined glint in their eye. "Tell _Enterprise_ to meet us there. We'll get the geeks and hang on until _Enterprise_ shows up."

"You sure?" Winchester asked and held up his hands when Jack sent him a patented O'Neill withering glance. "My bad. You'll handle it. _Impala_ out."

"All right Mitchell, let's go rescue us some nerds."

* * *

><p><em>Impala<em>

"That O'Neill guy kinda reminds me of Pike," Dean mused as they hammered the faltering bird of prey.

"How so?" Sam asked conversationally as he juggled three or four finicky systems.

Dean shrugged. "It's in the eyes – freaking nothing will scare or stop those guys anymore. _Daedalus_ _II_ will come out all right if he's in charge and we know that the SG-1 guys are the exact opposite of useless."

"I hope you're right," Sam breathed as the _Impala _shook under fresh disruptor fire, "because we've got more Klingon company."

"Shields at 76% and holding Captain!"

"Right, let's show them how the _Impala_ gets it done."

* * *

><p><em>Daedalus II<em>

"So, do we know where we're going?" Vala asked, draped over the back of Daniel's chair. "New universe and all."

Carter glanced up from the map spread across the tactical table. "Yep. The calculations for distance are surprisingly similar and it's just a short distance away. We aren't going to get lost. Beat up by the bad guys, maybe, but not lost. In fact, we should be coming up on the space station just about…now."

They spotted the small gleaming white object floating in space, a silvery stream of atmosphere marking the massive breach. "It's tiny!" Vala lamented in dismay.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Carter said slowly. "I know Winchester said it was small, but it's at least as big as the _Impala_." Sure enough, once they were within beaming range, the station dwarfed the _Daedalus II_ and Vala had her nose pressed right up against the bridge view screen, craning her neck back to look at up.

"Science station Beta 754, this is the Earth ship _Daedalus II_. _Impala_ sent us by to pick you up. Beta 754, do you read?" Daniel hailed the station, kicking his station when the connection crackled. The interference disappeared.

"_This is Beta 754. Who the hell are you?"_

Jack grinned and took over. "We're from another universe, just stopped in for coffee, doncha know, and volunteered for the mission when the _Impala _ran into Klingon trouble. You want off the station or not?"

There was a pause in which Jack raised his eyebrows. Free but somewhat sketch ride off the leaking death trap? He'd take it if he were in their place.

"_Standing by for transport, Daedalus II."_

"Thank you," Jack muttered. "Mitchell and Carter, can you go make sure our guests are comfortable? That they don't think we're aliens and try to, oh I don't know, take over the ship?"

Carter and Mitchell nodded as Vala rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Jack, I don't think they'll try _that_."

Jack raised a sceptical eyebrow as Carter activated the beaming technology and confirmed mass arrival in the hold. "What team have you been on for the past few years?"

Vala opened her mouth, paused and conceded the point just as the station beside them shook, shuddering under unseen weapons fire. "O'Neill, there are two war birds bearing down on our position," Teal'c reported calmly.

"Vala, take the helm. Teal'c, make sure the shields are at maximum. Carter! What are the odds of us hiding behind this space station and the Klingon-dudes just assuming everyone's already dead?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Nil, sir."

"Damn. Daniel, have you got in contact with this _Enterprise_?"

Daniel held up a hand, murmuring into the comm for a minute longer before turning to Jack. "We've been hacked. The Klingons put a tap on the line. Luckily," and here he grinned, "Lieutenant Commander Uhura noticed and I taught her the basics of Ancient when I was here last so the Klingons have no idea what we're saying. On the flip side, it'll be another three minutes until the _Enterprise_ arrives."

"Vala, don't get us shot up until that ship gets here."

"Yes sir!" the bubbly woman saluted from her chair. "No getting shot," and she yanked the entire ship violently sideways, dodging a disruptor beam with a hair's breadth to spare.

* * *

><p><em>Enterprise<em>

"Captain," Uhura reported as the _Enterprise_ clipped along at a respectable warp 7 (they had been going faster, but _Impala_ said they had it handled and so _Enterprise_ had dialled back), "the _Daedalus II_ is responding to the science station emergency because the _Impala_ was already taking fire when we hailed them."

Kirk blinked. "The _Daedalus II_?"

Uhura grinned. "From the SG-1 universe and she's taking fire from Klingons."

Kirk laughed in disbelief. "Incredible. They're nuts. Sulu, maximum warp, yellow alert." The _Enterprise_ chewed up the distance in a hurry and burst onto the scene just in time to swoop over the tiny grey toy ship valiantly holding off two war birds all on her own. "Sulu, Chekov, I want those Klingons surrendering to us in five minutes. Uhura, put me in contact with the _Daedalus II_."

The connection was scratchy and the SG-1 ship clearly falling apart at the seams but the silver-haired commander of the _Daedalus II _was cool and composed, wearing a displeased scowl that would have stripped paint. _"I assume you're the _Enterprise_? You're late!"_

Kirk grinned. "Sorry about that, _Impala_ neglected to tell us you were the ones responding. Stepped up the pace as soon as we heard it was you. Captain Jim Kirk at your service. Hey Mitchell!"

"_Kirk! Dude, how you been?"_

"Captain, Klingons are requesting terms of surrender," Spock reported quietly and Kirk frowned.

"Klingons don't surrender," he remarked slowly.

Had Spock been human, he would have shrugged, as baffled as his captain.

"_They don't surrender?"_ the commander interjected and Kirk frowned.

"They fight to the death no matter what, which makes this very suspicious. Spock, can we safely drop shields and beam everyone onto the _Enterprise_?"

"I believe we can, Captain."

"Accept the Klingon surrender and evacuate the _Daedalus II_. That is, if you have no objections Commander…" Kirk trailed off.

"_General Jack O'Neill, Stargate Command. And no objections. This bucket's falling apart around us and unless you're volunteering the parts, we can't fix her on our own."_

Kirk nodded decisively. "We'll make sure you get back to the right universe. Scotty, mass-beam everyone off the _Daedalus II_ and when they arrive, I want the SG-1 team sent to the bridge."

"_Aye-aye, capt'n."_

"_Assistance appreciated,"_ O'Neill replied briskly but wholeheartedly.

* * *

><p><em>Daedalus II<em>

"Well," Carter mused as she hitched up her pack of field gear, "the IOA's going to have a field day. We left a multi-billion dollar space ship in another universe. Maybe we should just stay here."

Mitchell snorted a laugh. "And leave General Landry to deal with the fallout himself? You'd better make damn sure he can't come through that inter-universal gate to hunt us down."

"Well, since Jack's clearly rejoined SG-1," Daniel snipped, still irritated about his now slightly mangled glasses, "we can just feed him to Landry and the IOA."

"Ooh, good idea! Can I bring popcorn and watch?" Vala cackled as Teal'c patiently held out her pack.

"Perhaps Skittles would be a wiser choice," he volunteered with mild amusement and Vala grinned, swiping the pack from his hand.

"You're absolutely right, Muscles. What was I thinking?"

"Vala? Thinking? So many comments, so little time," Jack caroled blithely and grinned at Vala when she glared. "Everyone clear? No scientists still poking around at the rudimentary barbarian technology?"

"A final sweep of the ship has everyone accounted for, sir. We're all that's left and I'm sure Captain Kirk doesn't want to test the Klingons' surrender." Carter commed the _Enterprise_ and Jack watched in fascination as the transporter lights swirled around them like fireflies.

* * *

><p><em>Enterprise<em>

"Well that was…new," Jack commented, stepping off the transporter pad.

"Aye! Welcome to the _Enterprise_! Commander Montgomery Scott, chief engineer at your service."

"Scotty!" Carter cried in excitement. "Hey listen, about that shuttle you gave us," and Jack realized that he hadn't seen Carter this excited in quite some time.

He had been the one to push them on this mission after all, making sure the whole gang plus Jack came along because he'd noticed that SG-1 had been yanked in six different directions lately. Daniel was caught up in academia, turning into a dusty bookworm and even passing on archaeological digs in an attempt to head off the universe's next great disaster. Teal'c was growing grumpy and irritable herding the recalcitrant Jaffa towards something approaching equality while Vala skipped through the seedier parts of the universe tracking down the Lucien Alliance. Cam had been voluntarily stranded on the Gamma site, training new cadets and gaining an undeserved reputation as a hard-ass. Carter buried herself in either her lab or Area 51 in an attempt to keep the technology up to date on the wars in two galaxies. And Jack himself had been retired because he told the IOA exactly what he thought one too many times and some great, galaxy-imperiling crisis hadn't cropped up to save his ass.

When none of them had showed up for movie night, all citing work as a legitimate excuse, Jack decided to take matters into his own hands and he may or may not have convinced Landry to yank the entirety of SG-1 onto an interesting but simple archaeological run.

As usual, it all went to hell.

And now he was trapped in another universe and loving it.

Judging from the expressions on everyone else's faces, so were they.

Daniel practically scooted out the transporter room door, babbling something about Uhura and updating her on some language theory. He was followed by Cam, who had admittedly looked like a kid in a candy store when the _Enterprise_ first arrived. Vala bounced in their wake with an evil glint in her eye that boded ill for the poor lamb she was going to sexually harass.

This left Jack and Teal'c standing quite happily in the transporter room. "I believe your plan is working, O'Neill."

"Plan? What plan? There was no plan. Like I said, the universe is kicking us in the teeth. I mean, seriously, we're so screwed right now."

Teal'c clearly didn't believe him.

* * *

><p>Kirk decided he liked this retired leader of SG-1. Jack O'Neill was a man of Pike's calibre, a veteran still in prime fighting form and sharp as a honed blade, hungry for more action, juggling his very excited team with ease and aplomb.<p>

"Right. Klingons," Kirk began, getting to the point. "They never surrender. Which means there's something else going on here. What it is, I don't know. Spock, what does this science station do?"

Suddenly the jabbering bridge fell silent. _Enterprise_ and SG-1 members alike tuned in as the first officer took the floor. "The station itself is an anomaly. Starfleet decided to fund the expedition to the planet below because of the dead civilization present."

Ears perked up. "Dead civilization?" Dr. Jackson asked, eyes alight already.

"Indeed. The civilization was several technological breakthroughs ahead of most planets in this quadrant and they made use of an unknown, highly efficient power source. Starfleet has been attempting to reverse-engineer this generator for the past eight months. They have made no appreciable breakthroughs until last week. Since then, the Klingons have been attempting to take the planet."

Again, Dr. Jackson raised his hand and Spock nodded. "What happened to the civilization?"

Spock inclined his head slightly. "We do not know."

Dr. Jackson whirled on General O'Neill, who held up his hands. "_If_ it's safe and _if_ Captain Kirk has the time, we can let you go down to the planet and play with the rocks."

"Actually," Kirk drawled, "your assistance would be appreciated. I just got an update from Starfleet. We're supposed to chase off the Klingons and expedite the generator production before more enemies arrive. Spock, pick an away team to head down to the planet. Any members of SG-1 who are interested are welcome to poke around while we clean up the mess in space."

Spock was staring at the SG-1 team thoughtfully. "You said during our last encounter that you are a first contact team?"

"Yep," Mitchell replied.

"Our archaeology department is…lacking in scientific process," Spock said with mild distaste, "and none of them are capable of defending themselves. Captain, with your permission and if the general agrees, I will simply take SG-1 down to the surface. Lieutenant Colonel Carter can be of assistance in the generator production and Dr. Jackson's thorough professionalism outweighs our archaeology department."

"Lacking in scientific process?" Dr. Jackson asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Kirk sighed. "It's a new initiative by Starfleet but I'm afraid this is the first archaeology department on the flagship and they don't move very quickly. And we got the dregs of the barrel because few archaeologists want to work on the _Enterprise_ because we rarely stay in one place long enough to conduct a proper dig. In short, our archaeology department is unfortunately a group of blithering idiots. Don't worry Dr. Jackson, you will be a huge help. General?"

O'Neill rocked back on his heels. "Why not?"

Kirk grinned. "Excellent."

* * *

><p><em>Planet-side<em>

"Well looky there, campers! Just like home," Jack commented as they materialized on the planet's desert surface in fatigues, P-90s and the field packs. Spock had raised an eyebrow at the kitted out team but Mitchell said they had experienced too many situations gone sideways to leave any of it behind.

And just like home, Daniel spotted the ruins immediately and scuttled off with excitement. "Daniel!" Jack shouted but Mitchell waved lazily.

"Vala and I will go after him, keep him from falling through holes or walking into an ambush, sir."

"Why don't I get to stay with the sexy alien?" Vala practically whined.

Mitchell rolled his eyes. "Like I said sir, Vala and I will go."

Jack nodded. "Radio contact in ten after you've scouted a perimeter."

Mitchell flipped a casual salute and herded Vala after the rapidly shrinking archaeologist.

"The scientists had a secondary base in this cliff face," Spock directed, leading the remaining team members to a camouflage screen. The cool rush of recycled air met Carter as she practically zipped inside in excitement. Spock held the door open but Jack shook his head.

"Teal'c and I are going to go poke around. Been on the wrong end of too many ambushes if you know what I mean."

Spock paused. "This is prudent. I will ensure that Lieutenant Colonel Carter remembers to contact you in ten minutes."

"Excellent. You've got her pegged already."

* * *

><p><em>ImpalaEnterprise_

"Hey Kirk, see you've got the Klingons wrangled," Dean commented as his crew scrambled to effect minor repairs, having trounced the bird of prey and its friends and caught up with _Enterprise_.

"Yeah," the _Enterprise _captain replied thoughtfully, "but something's odd. We're in a standoff and I don't know what the stakes are. The chief scientist isn't hiding anything and while this generator is a decent idea, it's not worth five Klingon birds in this sector."

"Hey, where's the _Daedalus II_?" Dean asked suddenly.

Kirk scowled in irritation. "We couldn't protect it and win a battle at the same time. We beamed everyone off the ship and then let the Klingons have it. Hope Stargate Command isn't pissed. Spock took SG-1 down to the surface instead of our new archaeology department. Dr. Jackson's the capable type." And Uhura was still ticked he hadn't let her go with them. No matter her interest in languages, she wasn't an archaeologist and he wanted most of his bridge crew around. This situation was going to take a nosedive if his instincts were right and he'd need her.

"So we'll just sit on our hands and wait for the Klingons to make the first move," Dean concluded.

"Yep."

"Son of a bitch."

* * *

><p><em>Daniel, Vala and Mitchell<em>

Jackson was lost to the world, Mitchell realized quickly. Completely immersed in this wholly new culture, the archaeologist's sky-blue eyes were boring into the ruins as he scrambled about like a monkey, muttering excitedly to himself.

"He hasn't been this interested since we found Atlantis," Vala commented in awe and Mitchell shrugged.

"Didn't realize I'd missed this, letting Jackson run amok. Lately all he's been doing is focusing in on saving the world."

"Do you realize that I've _never_ seen anything like this before _ever_?" Jackson shouted in glee from on top of a wall like a kid in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and Vala giggled.

"I'd better go help, make sure he doesn't fall off the wall."

Mitchell nodded. "I'll go case the area. Stay alert, 'cause Jackson sure as hell won't."

* * *

><p><em>Three hours later…<em>

Vala was sitting merrily on top of a rather tall wall, basking happily in the sun when Daniel yelped suddenly and scrambled out of the enormous ruined hall he had been enamoured with. "What?" Vala asked and Daniel blinked at her, brain still working at top speed.

"I know why the Klingons are here and we have got to go. Now. Get Mitchell. I'm calling Jack."

Vala scrambled down from her perch and tumbled into the shade where Cam was snoozing peacefully as Daniel fumbled with his radio and started barking information at Jack, who barked back until Daniel slowed his words down to intelligible speed. Even then, Vala caught the last irritable "Daniel, you still aren't making any sense. Meet us back at the rendezvous point and we'll talk then."

Mitchell jogged up to them and Daniel started off without a word. "Come on," he called over his shoulder, "before they wake up!"

The phrase 'before they wake up' coming from disaster-magnet Daniel Jackson suddenly had Vala sprinting ahead, Mitchell falling into step with Jackson as they had done so many times before. "They?" he panted, shooting a wary look over his shoulder.

"They," Jackson confirmed grimly.

Jack, Teal'c and Carter were waiting for them, having had a much shorter distance to go. "Talk Daniel, and make it stupid for us," Jack ordered.

"Well, I don't quite have all the details because I didn't have time to decipher the hieroglyphs on the wall, but the gist of the story from various different sources around the ruins tell of what I assume is a primitive Klingon war vessel. This was at least a thousand years ago and I think the Klingons had just mastered space travel. No weapons aboard the ship itself, primitive living conditions, but they were looking to establish a colony. They landed on the planet with their formidable beasts of war and defeated the people living here." Daniel took in a huge breath and was off again a second later.

"But the last ruler of the indigenous peoples released a great enemy that they had kept captive for many years to eliminate the Klingon war beasts and holed himself up with the remnants of his people in that great citadel there. The enemy was successful in eliminating the Klingons and their war beasts before a day had passed, leaving a handful of Klingons to take to the sky, swearing to never return to the planet."

Daniel stopped, staring at everyone expectantly.

"So?" Jack asked bluntly.

"So the creature went into hibernation and the recent excavations may or may not have disturbed it."

"After a thousand years?" Carter asked skeptically and Daniel beamed at her.

"Actually, I think they recalled it and put the thing in stasis. And the Federation scientists poking around in the ruins set off a timer that's about to run out."

The mention of technology had Carter and Spock paying attention. "So it could be awake soon," Carter said slowly. Daniel nodded. "And that's why the Klingons are here. They want to examine the beast they couldn't beat all those years ago," she finished.

"I believe it would be prudent to retreat to the _Enterprise _at this time," Spock interjected firmly.

"Agreed," Jack said firmly and blinked in surprise when Daniel didn't protest, only checked his P-90 and scanned the area. Upon exchanging glances with the active SG-1 members, he was at once comforted and disturbed to realize they were as surprised by Daniel's reaction as he was.

Shouldering his own P-90, Jack surveyed the scene as Spock spoke into the communicator. "We cannot beam up at this time," the Vulcan reported a few minutes later. "The _Enterprise_ and _Impala_ have engaged with more Klingon ships and the shields are up."

"Should we move into the bunker-thingy over there then?" Vala suggested and everyone looked at Daniel. "Um, uh, I think we should get to high ground. The legends say this thing travels through and under soft sand. Climb the cliff."

"The temperature up there will be extreme and there will be no shelter," Spock pointed out.

"Agreed," Teal'c weighed in. "However, it will indeed be easier to spot an enemy coming even if it is under the sand." The stoic members of the group exchanged a glance. "I believe we should be last up the cliff," Teal'c added and Spock bowed his head slightly.

"That is a logical conclusion."

"God, there's two of them now," Jack sighed. "All right. Mitchell, you're up the cliff first. Jackson next, Carter and Vala follow him. Then me and the terrible twins."

The 'terrible twins,' (who did not look very impressed with their new nickname) and Jack covered their team mates as they swarmed up the cliff.

Then there was a great booming sound and everyone froze.

"Daniel?" Carter asked into the radio.

"There was a great stone cover, at least eight tons heavy over the crypt," Daniel replied, dangling from his rope and scanning the area with new scrutiny. "It wasn't meant to keep the creature in. It was meant to warn everyone when it fell off the crypt top and onto the 'echoing floor.'"

"So it's out now," Vala shouted, forgetting to use the radio.

"Move it, move it, move it," Jack barked, backing up to the cliff face and latching onto Daniel's rope. Teal'c was a heartbeat behind him and Spock waited a bare ten seconds more before following suit.

Mitchell had just made the top of the cliff, squinting against the blowing sand when he spotted an ominous ripple in the dunes below. "Let's go!" he shouted as Daniel and Vala spilled onto the top. "It's coming!"

And that was when the Klingons materialized down on the sand as well, spotting the scrambling team members almost immediately.

* * *

><p><em>Impala<em>

"What the hell is on that planet?" Dean demanded as the _Impala_ shook under intense fire from a K't'inga class war ship, the heavy artillery of the Klingons.

"According to Spock," Uhura replied over the open comm, the least busy person on the _Enterprise_'s bridge, "Daniel thinks it's a creature that eradicated a Klingon attack force and their war beasts in under a day."

"Well shit," Dean muttered. "Of course the Klingons want it as a pet." He watched in exasperation as the _Enterprise _ducked about. The _Impala_ was practically useless against the big Klingon ship and the _Enterprise _was taking a hammering. "Sam, tell me you've gotten through to Starfleet!"

Sam snarled in disgust just as Dean finished issuing the order. "Dean, they put me on hold."

"What? Is that even possible?"

Sam scowled. "We're being blocked out by one of the admirals who refuses to take us seriously. Who have you pissed off lately?"

"I don't know Sam! Get us some help!"

Rolling his eyes, Sam pulled up the roster of ships in the area. Technically they weren't supposed to call directly on other ships for assistance – Starfleet wanted to keep track of where their ships were, keep things nice and organized, but Sam figured everyone would rather be alive and in shit than, well, dead and in shit.

"Yes," he hissed in victory, punching buttons. "_Los Angeles, _do you read? This is the _Impala_, mayday, mayday!"

* * *

><p><em>Los Angeles<em>

"Captain, I'm getting a distress call directly from the _Impala_," Nell reported and Callen glanced up from his report-writing.

"Not from Starfleet?"

Nell listened intently. "Apparently Admiral Cartwright's pissed at Captain Winchester again and stalling them out but _Impala _and _Enterprise_ are currently facing down a K't'inga-class war ship by themselves."

Callen set the PADD down, decision made in an instant. "Yellow alert. Maximum warp. Punch it, Deeks."

* * *

><p><em>Planet-side<em>

The SG-1 team plus one Vulcan sat dangling their feet over the edge of cliff, watching warily.

The Klingons spread out, clearly heading in the cliff's direction when the moving ripple of sand intensified and the wind began to die down, casting an ominous silence over the landscape.

"Daniel, what exactly is this thing," Jack demanded and Daniel shrugged.

"Like I said, I couldn't read the hieroglyphs but if the murals are correct," the archaeologist threw up his hands in disbelief, "it's an enormous, uh, barbed, poisonous serpent. Thing."

"A giant barbed poisonous serpent thing?" Jack repeated slowly with his trademark incredulity.

Spock seemed to be enjoying the heat while everyone else sweltered, soaking in the rays with as much pleasure as Vala until the Vulcan leaned in to join the conversation. "Are you certain, Dr. Jackson?"

Mitchell leaned back to look up at the brilliant azure-green sky. "Oh, Jackson's never wrong about the doomsday stuff," he drawled with calm resignation. "He says there's a giant serpent barbed thing, he's going to be right."

There was a huge explosion of golden sand under the Klingons' feet, the ground roiled and a great, fanged, ruffed head shot out of the confusion in shades of tan and gold, barely visible amidst the flying clouds of sand, long serrated teeth gleaming wickedly as the thing snatched at its prey with frightening speed and accuracy.

Jack whistled. "Damn."

"It can't get up here, right Daniel?" Vala asked, carefully hiding the quaver in her voice.

The archaeologist shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. But it'll definitely cost the thing some time and by that point, I expect the _Enterprise_ or the _Impala_ should be around to pick us up."

"Should, huh," Carter huffed, sipping from her canteen and grimacing at the warm water.

* * *

><p><em>Enterprise<em>

"Uhura, tell me you got through to someone, anyone who is coming to assist," Kirk demanded as the bridge shook yet again under a heavy hit.

"_Los Angeles_ ETA twenty seconds, sir," she snapped back briskly.

"_LA_, that's good," Kirk muttered to himself. "How's the _Impala_, Chekov?"

"Taking heavy fire, keptin. Shields at 34% and falling. They vill be able to take one more direct hit."

Kirk scowled."Scotty, I need more power to the shields!"

"Oh aye, more power to the shields he says," the engineer growled down below decks, hammering circuits into compliance and bawling out his fumble-fingered minions. "Aye, more power to the shields and aren't we almost burning through the bloody conduits as it is?"

Scotty slammed down an engine hatch, rerouted the power feeds yet again and smacked his comm. "Ye've got all the power ye're gang tae get, capt'n an' if the system overloads we'll be absolutely defenceless!"

"Understood, Scotty!"

"Understood my ass," the irritable Scot shot back after the comm turned off, a conduit sparked and Keenser waggled a wrench at him, waving Scotty over.

A miracle-worker's job is never complete.

* * *

><p>Up on the bridge, <em>Enterprise<em> was a smoke-filled, noisy, tense world with sparks highlighting broken, bleeping panels, the captain snapping orders left and right.

Just as Kirk was afraid they were going to lose the _Impala_, _Los Angeles_ sailed in, fresh and raring to go. "Uhura, does the away team need a beam up?" Kirk asked during a brief lull in the fight as the K't'inga-class ship (so new that it didn't have a name) squared up with the _LA_, clearly trying to decide if they wanted to take on two Constitution class ships at once.

"Yes, Spock said something about an," Uhura tapped a few keys, clearly replaying the conversation to ensure she got her facts straight, "abnormally large sand serpent, approximately fifty feet in length."

"Sand snake? Why don't they just shoot it?" Kirk puzzled.

Uhura shrugged expressively.

"Scotty, can you lock onto the away team?" Kirk asked. There was a pause over the comm.

"Capt'n, there's some sort of device down on the planet interfering with the transporters. I swear it wasn't down there before. Chekov, be a good laddie and have a gander," the puzzled engineer requested.

"Uhura, tell the _Impala_ and the _Los Angeles_ we're checking on the away team. Sulu, keep backing up the _LA_ and don't let the _Impala_ get toasted. Chekov?"

The ensign squinted at his station. "Ser, it's some sort of stasis field that's been released recently. It's veakening as ve speak but the interference in the atmosphere from the dewice deactiwating vill not allow transport for another tventy minutes at least."

Kirk stared at the screen, thinking as the _Enterprise_ took yet another hit. "Shields at 65% and holding," the Russian officer added helpfully. Kirk came to a quick decision.

"Right. Sulu, you have the conn. I'm taking a shuttle down to the planet to pick them up. At the very least, we should get them up off the ground. Tell Bones to meet me in the shuttle bay if he's got the infirmary under control." Kirk stood abruptly and nodded around the bridge. "Got it?"

When he received affirmation, he strode into the lift, a grin spreading on his face as the doors closed. "Giant snake, huh?"

* * *

><p><em>Planet-side<em>

The wind was picking up as the sky began to darken and still the sand roiled in long lazy waves, the snake circling around and around. There was no sign of the Klingons, despite Vala's fervent wish that the metal and leather armour would give the snake indigestion. Of course Carter and Spock found the snake interesting, to Jack's disgust.

He, Cam and Teal'c were all for rappelling halfway down the rope and seeing if the P-90s would make a dent but Daniel had rather sensibly pointed out that the Klingon disruptors had only left blackened bursts on the snake's smooth, undoubtedly hard scales and that a P-90 was more likely to tickle the thing than kill it. Best sit and wait. Carter agreed with him and so, to Spock's mild confusion, SG-1 plus one Vulcan remained sitting out on the edge of the cliff like a little row of odd, wingless birds.

"I was under the impression that 21st century military was not a democracy," Spock finally ventured after Jack said he was rappelling down and Daniel said that was one of the stupidest ideas Jack had had to date, although Daniel was quite sure Jack would impress him yet again one of these days. Mitchell laughed, Daniel wrinkled his nose as Vala smirked, Carter elbowed Jack and Teal'c's face bent into something resembling humour.

"Technically," Jack drawled, "I'm retired. Mitchell and Carter are of the same rank. And the rest aren't military. Can't dish out orders like you do in outside of the SGC. That and SG-1's always been a little strange. Even in the beginning, getting Daniel to follow orders was like pulling teeth with needle-nosed pliers." Said archaeologist looked rather proud of his contrary nature. "And hey, we gotta be doing something right. We're still the premiere off-world team even after what, thirteen years now?"

Carter shrugged. "I don't keep track. I feel old if I do."

"Yeah, the rookies nowadays don't try to razz me but instead look up at me as if I'm some sort of great Earth-saving genius." Daniel blinked mildly as everyone else rolled their eyes in exasperation.

"Just so you know," Mitchell informed Spock with amusement. "He actually is some sort of great Earth-saving genius. They all are. Even Vala."

"Don't forget yourself, flyboy," Vala chimed in.

Jack huffed in old-soldier disdain for mushiness. "Yes, let's all form a mutual admiration society. Spock can join for free, since I'm guessing he's saved his Earth a couple times as well."

"As a matter of fact, I have," the Vulcan added just before the giant serpent threw itself at the cliff with teeth-jarring force and Vala almost toppled off the edge. Everyone scrambled back as boulders rattled loose and the solid rock below them quivered.

"Daniel, how solid is this thing?" Jack asked, not sure he would like the answer.

Daniel scowled. "It depends on whether or not the cliff formed on the sand or the sand formed around the cliff. Judging from the way this thing's shaking, it landed on top of the sand. If the snake keeps pounding away at the right spot, it could all fall apart."

"Dr. Jackson's analysis is accurate," Spock correlated.

"Great. So what do we do when this thing inevitably dumps us on our asses in the sand?" Mitchell asked as P-90s got a quick once-over, shaking sand out of places it didn't belong.

"Well, if I had to pick a place to start shooting," Daniel mused, "I'd say the eyes and the inside of the mouth would be our best bet."

"Captain Kirk is on his way down with a shuttle to pick us up," Spock reported a second later.

"Excellent. Everyone stay away from the edge and wait for the captain," Jack ordered briskly, putting the grab on a curious Daniel. "No checking out the big snake Danny-boy. If you fall over the edge, I'll have to go back and tell all those little starry-eyed newbies that their great Dr. Jackson got eaten in the lamest way possible."

The cliff was literally crumbling under their feet as Mitchell, Carter and Jack started taking sniper shots at the snake. It wasn't going so well when the shuttle arrived in a whoosh of air and scattered pebbles. "In, in, in!" Captain Kirk shouted and the away team didn't stand around to argue. They piled into the open door like puppies, Jack slamming the door shut behind them with alacrity.

"Well-timed, Captain," Spock said by way of greeting, slipping into the co-pilot's seat.

"Thanks, Spock. Everyone okay?"

SG-1 glanced around at each other. "Fine," Jack concluded. "Carter, please tell me you got the plans for that generator thingie."

Carter shot her general a highly insulted glare. "Of course I got the plans."

Everything was rather anticlimactic after that. _Los Angeles_ and _Enterprise_ took care of the K't'inga class ship and the _Impala_ hung on long enough to kick the shit out of the small fries. Carter, Sam (Winchester) and Spock had a great deal of fun putting the generator together and if a copy of the plans ended up in Carter's backpack, the Starfleeters had no problem with that.

Daniel and Hetty from the _LA_ got along fabulously which frightened more than a few members of the assembled crews, especially when they overheard Hetty telling Daniel about a rather "interesting P'loouik dish that utilizes real snake venom. Of course you have to be sure to take the antidote within three minutes of consumption. I'll give you the recipe." Of course Daniel agreed enthusiastically, citing it as a "fascinating example of inventive cuisine. We could take a shuttle down to the planet and get our Klingon-eating, scaly friend as an experiment," as he eyed Jack speculatively.

"I'm not eating anything that's made from snake venom," an apprehensive Jack said firmly. "Even if it tastes like chicken. Especially if it tastes like chicken."

The captains, Jack and Mitchell sat down to hammer out the details of a tentative long-distance alliance, seeing as the geeks could confirm that this was indeed another universe and not an alternate reality so there wouldn't be any entropic cascade ("There's a difference?" Jack asked. The geeks glared. Jack subsided).

"You found _Atlantis_?" Sam (Winchester) squeaked in awe to Daniel after Jack had made a passing remark about contributing Atlantis' Ancient technology in assisting Starfleet's development of a stable wormhole network.

Daniel grinned goofily. "Oh yeah. It's in another galaxy. An entire city built as a giant space ship. Coolest ship I've ever seen. Beats even the _Enterprise_, sorry."

"Dean, can we?" If Sam had a tail, he'd be wagging it, begging to go.

"Maybe, Sammy, maybe. Only if Starfleet says yes and you definitely cannot stay. Period."

"Come on Dean! Daniel, you said it was a city-space ship, tell me more!"

Jack considered thumping his head off the desk as the geeks yet again dragged the negotiations far, far off track.

* * *

><p>In the end, Carter and Spock managed to stabilize the prototype wormhole, ironing out the flux in time so that SGC wouldn't have to worry about time skipping past them anymore. In exchange for a 'rough sketch' of a working wormhole's schematics (Jack, Dean and Mitchell let their eyes glaze over as Carter slammed down a very large tome of plasti-paper and Spock practically salivated over it), Starfleet sent SG-1 a functioning Miranda-class ship (Pike had given the Winchesters a very bad five minutes when he falsely insinuated that the <em>Impala<em> would be going with the SG-1 team permanently).

In return, apparently Daniel and Jack were staying behind to tag along with the _Impala_ to this giant pyramid that no one had been able to unlock. According to legend, it was one of the universe's first libraries. Daniel was in seventh heaven, studying up on the new culture with all the voracity of a starving piranha. Naturally, Jack groaned and moaned about going to a _library_ but when someone volunteered to take his place, he back-pedalled pretty quickly.

And when someone mentioned the Lucien Alliance or the last of the Ori priors, thereby dimming Daniel's enthusiasm, Jack sent them a very nasty glare. They promptly shut up.

In exchange, the _Enterprise_ was going to visit Earth.

The crew thought this fantastic. Kirk was excited until he realized an entire delegation of diplomats were hitchhiking on his ship and the SG-1 team members scuttled off into the shadows, all too well-acquainted with diplomats. The last thing a woebegone Kirk saw was his sniggering friend, Dean Winchester waving gleefully as Jack O'Neill flipped the _Enterprise_ captain a mocking two-fingered salute.

_Enterprise _tripped over a Lucien Alliance ship robbing a poor honest trader on their way back to Earth. With unparalleled glee, Cam Mitchell got to pilot the great ship into battle as part of his training. Someone had to at least teach other SGC personnel how to pilot the shiny new Earth ship _Sharpe_ and Kirk figured a practical approach was best for the experienced Earth pilot.

They put the run on the Lucien Alliance in five minutes flat.

* * *

><p>"General Landry, sir." Carter and Mitchell snapped to attention as the slightly flabbergasted general peered around the <em>Enterprise<em>'s bridge, full of gleaming glass, white plasti-steel, a highly professional crew and one charismatic captain.

"This isn't the one we get to keep, is it?" he asked in bewilderment.

"Afraid not," Kirk replied. "Captain Jim Kirk, USS _Enterprise_. And I've been told by Starfleet that the _Sharpe _is the only ship we'll be providing. We're bending our regulations as it is. You'll have to figure out how to build your own ships and from what we've seen of your universe, a Constitution class ship would be overkill, not to mention disastrous in the wrong hands."

General Landry stepped forward to shake the impressive young man's hand. "Fair enough. Let's get down to business, shall we?"

* * *

><p>"<em>Dan<em>-iel."

It had taken the eldest Winchester exactly thirty seven minutes of working with Dr. Daniel Jackson to perfect his own version of Jack's exasperated, bored moniker.

"What, Dean?"

"Are we done yet?"

There was an answering, vaguely negative mumble.

"Jack. Seriously dude. I am roasting my ass off and he's been sitting there for six damn hours like some sort of geeky Buddha."

Jack was inclined to agree with the long suffering captain, who had opted to stay planet-side for adventure instead of floating around in space going cross-eyed with boredom while Sam ran extrapolations on gas giants. The retired general stepped up, bringing a decade's worth of Daniel-wrangling to bear on the archaeologist.

"Daniel. You've gotta be getting close now."

"Look Jack, this is an entirely new culture. You wanna give it a try?" There was that unconsciously triumphant/challenging note in Daniel's voice.

Bingo.

"Sure. I'll just get out the C-4." Jack reached for his pack and flipped up the top.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait." Pause. "I got it." And off Daniel went on a tangent, rattling off undoubtedly interesting history as he slipped ancient stones together until the pyramid rumbled dustily, the doors sliding open with an awful groan of ancient gears.

Dean stared at Jack with new-found respect as they followed Daniel into the musty darkness.

"Dude. You're my hero."


	2. Reinforcements

I do not own Star Trek 2009, Supernatural, Stargate Atlantis or SG-1

* * *

><p>Richard Woolsey leaned back in his comfortable, favourite chair, surveying the soft muted hues of his office in Atlantis. Really, he'd love to relegate this chair to his quarters, where he could sit in it during a rare quiet evening but then the replacement chair dug up by the quartermaster would murder his back.<p>

Why was Richard Woolsey, leader of the Atlantis expedition, considering chairs?

Avoidance. He was studiously ignoring the problem currently hovering under his nose. Sheppard would be in the office soon enough, demanding a solution and Woolsey would think about it then.

Because this time, the Atlantis expedition might really, truly fall apart into bitter cold ashes.

They had thought that after bringing Atlantis back out to Pegasus from Earth that it'd be a simple thing to continue fighting the Wraith. Not easy, no, never, but straightforward.

Find Wraith. Eliminate Wraith. Save the galaxy.

Woolsey snorted. What was he thinking? This was Atlantis, home of "if it can go wrong it will and drag you down with it in flames."

The current problem? Several large Wraith families had loosely allied themselves against Atlantis, which was nothing new. Their covert run into an Atlantis-protected planet, spying on the locals until the locals dialled Atlantis and thereby gaining Atlantis' current coordinates was new and rather sneakily clever.

Woolsey sighed. Honestly, it would be rather simple to move Atlantis but then every world that had the big city on speed-dial should the Wraith show up to kill them en masse would be disconnected and defenceless.

Of course, convincing the IOA to do something as charitable as take a stand and threaten Earth's greatest technological discovery since the Stargate itself was an uphill battle.

"Woolsey?" Sheppard stuck his spiky head in the door. Wearily, Woolsey waved Atlantis' military commander into his office. He and John Sheppard had gotten off to a rocky start but after working with the man for several years, Woolsey could honestly say he trusted Sheppard with his life and the lives of every single individual in Atlantis. Woolsey even liked him (not that he'd ever admit it).

"So," Sheppard began, draping himself easily all over the most uncomfortable chair in the office, "what are we going to do?"

Woolsey shrugged, clearly at a loss. "I'm going to put in a request for two ships but we're not going to get them. The IOA's going to order the SGC to order us to move Atlantis. This is the way it's going to go." And his influence with the IOA was dwindling rapidly, especially since they realized he refused to be a puppet.

Sheppard waved a hand vaguely. "What if instead of requesting the big guys, you ask for the wonder-shuttle instead?"

Woolsey glared. "Sheppard, I am not indulging your childish need to prove to Lieutenant Colonel Mitchell that puddle jumpers are faster than the shuttle."

The grin reappeared as Sheppard sat up, proving with one movement that the fun-loving commander had thought this through. "Actually, I wanted the shuttle for a different reason. Although I am going to toast Mitchell's ass. It's a fact that the shuttle's faster in hyperspace and the Wraith will have absolutely no idea how to react to phasers."

Woolsey scowled, thinking the idea through. "Very well. We are more likely to get the wonder-shuttle than we are the ships. I'll give it a try."

* * *

><p><em>A week later…<em>

"Atlantis, your reinforcements should be arriving within minutes," General Landry reported through the wormhole connection and the man was grinning widely. "I'd thank them when they arrive. They heard about your problem and got more than a little curious about Atlantis, so they sort of skipped the IOA and decided to come out on their own time."

The command team of Atlantis exchanged bewildered glances. "What?" Sheppard finally blurted. "Sir," he tacked on hurriedly. Skipped the IOA? Who skipped the IOA?

"_Atlantis, this is the Federation star ship _Enterprise_. Atlantis, do you read?"_

There was frozen silence in the control room for a second before Sheppard punched the appropriate button and replied. "This is Atlantis, _Enterprise_."

"Enterprise_ is entering your detection range. Permission to approach?"_

"Permission granted, _Enterprise_." Sheppard finally marshalled his wits enough to add, "Welcome to Atlantis. Feel free to beam down when ready."

"_Thanks! Expect us in five. _Enterprise_ out."_

Woolsey dropped into the nearest chair with a thump.

"_Enterprise_," McKay breathed, pulling up the scans and pasting the results onto the big screen. The huge Federation ship hung tantalizingly in the sky, beautiful and protective, a heaven-sent gift. They'd all seen the schematics of the new Earth ship _Sharpe_ but Sam Carter was guarding that ship like a dragon and rightfully so, McKay had admitted. The _Sharpe_'s systems were vast, varied and complicated. Carter was busy training a crew at the moment and by her estimates, the _Sharpe _wouldn't be fit for active duty for at least a year or so.

"Rodney, you're drooling," Sheppard pointed out. The Canadian scientist didn't break eye contact with the screen, busily flipping through readings and scans and who knew what else.

There was a blip from the communications console again before a new voice began speaking. _"This is the USS _Impala_ hailing Atlantis, Atlantis, do you read?"_

And that was when John Sheppard began grinning like a madman.

* * *

><p><em>Enterprise<em>

Jim Kirk was pretty sure that if he turned around, he'd see Spock and Sam Winchester geeking out via private comm over the awe-inspiring sight below them.

Hell, he was impressed. Who wouldn't be? Atlantis was gorgeously organic, spires of glass and metal twisting upward like crystals, the footprint of the city shaped vaguely like a giant snowflake, resting on the ocean of a beautiful blue-green planet.

_Enterprise_ sat happy in orbit as the crew squabbled over who got to go down to the city first and Kirk let himself bask in the hubbub of an excited crew before clearing his throat discreetly.

Like a ripple, silence fell. "Everyone will get a chance to beam down to the city providing the folks down there don't mind getting invaded by my overenthusiastic crew members. Right now, the senior bridge crew is going and that means you too, Scotty. Crawford, you have the conn. Keep an eye on deep space. I don't want the Wraith sneaking up on us. Away team with me."

The lift was crowded and as Uhura squished herself in between Spock and Chekov, Kirk could hear the crew left behind begin to chatter again. He was pretty sure there'd be plenty of scans and read outs and theories and reports on Atlantis by the time he came back.

Scotty was waiting for them at the transporter platform, grousing about having to leave his lass with a contradictory merry twinkle in his eye. The great fibber was as excited as anyone, bounding up onto the pad with abundant energy.

* * *

><p><em>Impala<em>

Dean was pretty sure that if he didn't stop teasing his crew, they'd tie him up and carry him down to the transporter pad just to get down to the beautiful city awaiting them. And they'd probably manage it too, considering that Sam was the one burning a hole in the back of Dean's skull with a laser glare.

Jack O'Neill chuckled beside him as Dean laboriously filled out a never-used assuming-orbit report. "If you don't finish that, Sam and Daniel are going to stuff the stylus you're using up your nose." Dean glanced over. Yep. Sam and Sam's new best friend were tapping fingers idly off consoles, knees, chair arms and practically bouncing in their seats.

"All right, senior bridge crew with me. Coming, Jack? Daniel can stay here if he likes." Daniel shot the captain a very dirty look and practically walked on Sam's heels as both geeks bolted for the lift, followed by a very enthusiastic crew. Jack and Dean brought up the rear in a timely fashion.

* * *

><p><em>Atlantis – Wraith arrival T-41 hours<em>

Woolsey had to remind everyone to be professional, since they were all straining their heads over the consoles of their screens and peering around corners like hungry baby birds.

And Rodney McKay was practically vibrating on the spot with curiosity and excitement. Woolsey hoped the Starfleet people could recognize eccentric genius when they saw it or McKay would create a very bad first impression.

The swirling lights of a Starfleet transporter beam hummed in the gate room and Woolsey stepped forward. A tall blond man with the air of a commander immediately marked him as the leader and stretched out a hand. "Captain James T. Kirk, USS _Enterprise_."

"Richard Woolsey, leader of the Atlantis expedition. It's a pleasure, Captain Kirk. This is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, Atlantis' military commander." Sheppard shook Kirk's hand firmly and Woolsey had a sudden terrible feeling that two kindred spirits had just met which would result in more hair loss for the balding Woolsey.

"Captain," Sheppard drawled.

"Lieutenant Colonel," Kirk replied cordially. He turned to the rest of his crew. "This is my first officer Commander Spock, Commander Scott, Commander Sulu, Ensign Chekov, Lieutenant Commander Uhura and Dr. McCoy. In short, my senior bridge crew."

Sheppard had acknowledged every individual mentioned. "This is Ronon, Dr. Rodney McKay and Teyla Emmigan. They and myself make up the Atlantis version of SG-1."

They were interrupted by the swirl of another transport beam and when it finished, a new crew stood gawking at Atlantis. The sandy-haired captain stepped forward. "Captain Dean Winchester, _Impala_. Richard Woolsey?"

Well, whatever the IOA might think about these so-called maverick captains, they'd been very polite so far and recognized his position in Atlantis, Woolsey assessed as he shook Captain Winchester's hand. That was a lot more courtesy than some of the IOA would offer. "…and my first officer, Commander Sam Winchester," Captain Winchester finished and Woolsey shook himself out of his thoughts, having automatically kept up with the conversation.

"Welcome to Atlantis, all of you. Shall we adjourn to the conference room? I'm afraid it won't seat everyone but I'm fairly certain that not everyone is required," Woolsey improvised. "Perhaps Dr. McKay would like to take the science officers and engineers on a tour of Atlantis' labs and Dr. Jackson, I believe the archaeology department has an entire list of things they want to discuss with you." The captains exchanged glances.

"All right, everyone not Spock or Bones get lost," Kirk ordered jovially.

"Sam, with me. The rest of you lot, don't break anything, get lost or cause trouble," Dean finished.

Woolsey blinked. In the space of a few seconds, the gate room had just emptied drastically, the sound of chattering interested individuals drifting down the corridors back towards a disgruntled Atlantis commander. "Well, that's one way to clear a room. If you'll follow me?"

* * *

><p><em>T-39 hours<em>

Jack O'Neill was suddenly having a blast in retirement. You see, as long as he never went back to Earth and carried everything he needed in his field kit, he could hop all over two universes following Daniel to keep him out of trouble. And these Starfleet guys, they were great. The ships were big enough that they didn't really give a damn if he and Daniel just tagged along on interesting missions.

And right now, he was watching a disgruntled Ronon realize that Sam Winchester was at least as tall as him and McKay rattled on at the speed of light without once confusing Spock while the two captains immediately connected with Sheppard, Woolsey listening intently as military tactics were bantered back and forth.

By the time Jack got himself seated in the conference room, he had been drawn into a discussion regarding an automated gate defense system that could be easily installed on local planets to defend the gate or even major settlements against the Wraith. "We can replicate the components in a flash," Kirk offered, "and all you'd have to do is put them in place. Wouldn't cost Earth a thing. Of course, right now that's not terribly relevant. Wraith alliance coming, you said?"

Sheppard pulled up a map on the big screen, gesturing. "There are six Hive ships coming. They'll be here in thirty nine hours and while Atlantis can shield or even cloak, the Wraith will probably place the planet under siege and use the same information source that gave us up to get the addresses of our allies. By that point, Atlantis can't do much more than run or hide. We can also launch drones but we've got a limited supply and against six Hives, I'm afraid we'd need a massive number of drones."

Woolsey handed around a copy of Wraith schematics. "This is what we know about the Wraith so far. I don't know what your ships are capable of."

Kirk ran a finger down the page, humming thoughtfully. "What do you think, Spock, Sam?"

"I think the biggest problem is going to be that we're outnumbered. If they're coordinated, they'll be able to flank us, but if Carter was right and we do something like this," Sam said briskly, snatching Jack's pen and scribbling on the paper. Spock stood and moved to stand behind Sam's shoulder.

"That is a prudent course of action. I believe we would win the battle with that plan," the Vulcan agreed. Dean leaned over, curiously reading the sheet.

Then he squawked in a very non-captain-ish way. "You're going to do _what_ to my ship?"

* * *

><p><em>T-38 hours<em>

Uhura and Daniel snickered gleefully at the standoff before them. The normally mild-mannered Zelenka was staring down his beaky nose with heated disdain at a disgruntled young Russian ensign.

"Beware the math geeks, for they are fearsome," Uhura giggled.

And then they were off, rapid-fire Czech and Russian blending, clashing, battling against each other, the linguists listening with unbridled amusement as the rest of the science department watched in bewilderment, clearly not understanding a word.

Zelenka began to flush red as Chekov smirked and then Zelenka replied with a parry that had Chekov gesturing wildly and the whole time not a word of English was exchanged.

"You're _both_ wrong, you dolts. Both theories suck. Now shut up so I can work."

The show immediately ground to a halt as McKay stormed into his domain like a miniature thundercloud. "You don't speak Russian or Czech," Sheppard said in confusion as he trailed the scientist into the lab. "They could be right."

McKay raised an eyebrow at Sheppard, supremely confident. "Math, you uneducated cretin, is universal. And I am a genius."

"_Da_," Chekov agreed, immediately qualifying his statement, "and vhile I understand why you would think so Dr. McKay, there is quantifiable ewidence dat – "

"Mr. Chekov," Kirk interrupted firmly but not unkindly. "Debating the merits of currently unrelated theoretical mathematics is not necessarily the best use of your time at the moment." The ensign blinked, finally pulling his head out of the discussion and looking around, flushing bright red as he realized the room was full of important people.

"Yes ser."

"I need you to work with Dr. McKay to key the _Enterprise _and _Impala_'s sensors to pick up Wraith ships. When you're done with that, I'm sure that Mr. Singer and Mr. Scott could use your expertise in assembling 'gate defence systems in the event that the _Enterprise_ and _Impala _fail. Understood?"

"Aye, keptin."

"Excellent. Carry on."

Chekov scurried out of the room after a rather mollified looking McKay. "And three, two, one…" Kirk counted down.

"But Dr. McKay, dat theory is not necessarily incorrect," an accented voice drifted back and a chuckle ran around the room.

"I think Dr. McKay may have met his match in a rather unexpected place," Woolsey commented. "I take it Mr. Chekov is an optimist?"

"Incurably," Bones drawled. "It can be annoying as hell. And the kid doesn't know when to give up. Jack, you said something about an infirmary?"

Daniel stood up straight from where he had been leaning against the wall. "I'll show you the way."

* * *

><p><em>T-36 hours<em>

After that, the 'combined command team' had a hard time keeping track of who went where. Uhura, Daniel and the Atlantis archaeologists disappeared into the dark, still unexplored corners of the city. The trio of doctors got together and suddenly Sheppard had a whole new appreciation for Carson's gently no-nonsense approach after watching a particularly absentminded Atlantis Marine get the dressing down of his life by a woman he could probably bench press without any effort. "She's a second Janet," Jack had shuddered as they tiptoed away.

The engineers were busy thoroughly dissecting the Atlantis power core and calling McKay every five seconds over the headsets, which was driving the Canadian blissfully crazy in the spare moments he had between determining that yes, Sam and Spock were as smart. Additionally, McKay had yet to satisfactorily talk Chekov into a corner.

"Oh Sam's gonna be pissed she missed this," Jack muttered. He, the captains, Sheppard and Woolsey finally sat down together in the cafeteria. "So. We've got the plans all laid out. Everyone's got their jobs. ETA is good. Now we just gotta wait." He shovelled a forkful of macaroni into his mouth and grimaced. "That's all we can do."

"Wait," Dean sighed with the same woebegone face. "I hate waiting."

A thought struck Sheppard. "Well, maybe we need to show you how to fly a 'jumper. You know, for educational purposes."

Dean glanced over and when he realized Sheppard was serious, he tapped fists with the man. "You're a good man, Charlie Brown."

Ronon looked vaguely displeased with the idea of flying with madmen all afternoon until Kirk elbowed him. "Dude, I was wondering if you could help me with some of the weapons. Starfleet'll throw a fit if I equip this ring defence system with phasers and while bullets are pretty efficient, some form of energy beam or field would be better."

"I'm not a geek," Ronon pointed out.

Kirk shrugged. "I don't want a geek. I want someone who can tell me how best to kill Wraith."

Ronon smiled toothily. "That I can do."

Woolsey pointedly ignored them. _He_ had paperwork to do. As much as he might have relaxed during his sojourn with Atlantis, someone needed to keep the place running.

As it turned out, Dean Winchester was John Sheppard's kind of pilot – the one that made Woolsey thoroughly sick within ten seconds of lift off. They spent a gloriously blissful three hours playing in the 'jumpers with Jack until Dean volunteered to show off _his_ ship.

That took up another two hours if only because they all got stuck under some manifolds while demonstrating the finer points of warp speed travel. Then a distress call came in from one of Atlantis' allies and Sheppard was going to reluctantly call his team together.

When Kirk and Ronon appeared in the 'gate room covered in grease and mild tool burns, Sheppard took a count of heads. "This'll do," he said in a burst of inspiration. "Wanna go off-world?"

The captains looked at each other. "Why the hell not?"

"Jack?"

SG-1's first leader shrugged. "Sure."

"Great! Let's go see what's got the Parthians squawking for us."

* * *

><p><em>T-21 hours<em>

"Well, that was overkill," Sheppard said airily, striding back through the gate. "Definite overkill."

"Not enough bandits," Ronon agreed.

"That what you people do for a living?" Dean drawled.

"Too much damn walking," Kirk scowled. "Five kilometres from the 'gate to the village? You need to get transporters."

Jack slipped off his iconic sunglasses (Dean had threatened to steal them from Jack on their first joint mission) and beamed sunnily at Daniel, Sam, Woolsey and Spock, all of whom were scowling mightily. "Lucy, we're home!"

"This is highly irregular," Woolsey began huffily.

"You went off-planet?" Sam growled.

"Jack, you're retired!"

There was an awkward pause as everyone manning the computers tried to look very busy and very deaf.

"Exactly. I'm retired, I'm allowed to run all over the damn galaxy if I like. What are you gonna do, fire me?" Jack replied sarcastically. Daniel huffed in response. "Come on guys, look at the team in front of you. What kind of trouble were we going to get into?"

Sulu, having great fun simulation-testing the drones up in the control area, snorted back a laugh as Woolsey's face took on the puckered look of someone sucking on a lemon. "Hey, no comments from the peanut gallery," Dean shot back. "Seriously guys, we were bored, went to help some people and we came back in one piece. All in a day's work." He grinned guilelessly.

Evidently Sam was immune. "More like we're damn lucky the universe hasn't imploded yet. That or it's all just gearing up to hit us at once. In twenty one hours when the Wraith arrive!"

"You're so dramatic, Sammy. Hey, see Sheppard? That's the bitchface!"

Woolsey took back his favourable first impression as the scolding dissolved into bickering. Oh, he had no doubt they were heroes, et cetera, et cetera. But childish insanity seemed to be a requirement for heroism these days.

* * *

><p><em>T-14 hours<em>

McKay glared at his friend.

Sheppard was unmoved.

McKay continued to glare.

Sheppard was oblivious.

"We could get Ellen to do something about this," Dean volunteered uneasily.

"The hell you will. No one tells me what to do, least of all a rooster-headed Air Force officer with jumped up delusions of grandeur!"

"Rodney. If you face off against six Hive ships with no sleep, you will screw up and blow the _Impala_ to hell. We've seen it before."

The idea of destroying such a fabulous piece of technology caused McKay to pale.

"Dude, go to bed. If you blow up my ship, I swear I'll kill you, get Ellen to revive you and then I'll turn you over to alpha shift."

McKay paled further. He had met alpha shift and while they were undeniably brilliant, their disorganized, disturbingly destructive way of doing things wreaked havoc on McKay's orderly soul.

* * *

><p><em>T-8 hours<em>

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Kirk demanded, backed up by Dean, Sheppard, O'Neill and Woolsey.

Sam, Spock and McKay all beamed (well, Spock looked satisfied) at each other. "Sure it will!" Sam said brightly. Zelenka and Chekov didn't look so sure and neither did Ash, but the three heads of science seemed inclined to roll over any and all objections a la McKay's usual down-to-the-wire brilliance.

"This is not very reassuring," Woolsey remarked uneasily.

"You're one to talk, it's _my_ ship they're messing with," Dean scowled.

"I'm the one that has to convince the SGC to go through with it," Woolsey reminded the group.

McKay looked like he'd eaten a lemon and survived, but he valiantly offered. "You can call Sam. Our Sam. Carter, that is, and ask her if our science is solid."

Woolsey gave him a very good facsimile of O'Neill's thousand-yard stare. "I will, believe me."

* * *

><p><em>T-7.5 hours<em>

Sam Carter bent over the tablet computer. "This is insane," she concluded. "Ranking somewhere between blowing up the sun and trusting the Goauld lord Yuu."

Woolsey looked very worried. "Relax, sunshine. Carter's the best," Mitchell said with a smirk, hip propped against a table as he stared right at McKay. There weren't many things in the universe Mitchell considered more fun than McKay baiting.

He snapped out of it as Carter rubbed her hands together. "I'm totally going to be the one that makes the device happen."

"Hey! It's our idea!" McKay cried.

Carter shrugged. "You're not getting rid of me now. I need coffee, a good computer and Chekov. Someone find me the Russian whiz kid."

* * *

><p><em>T-5 hours<em>

"Mitchell."

"Sheppard."

"I've got a 'jumper. Tell me you brought a shuttle, or else I'll have to think you're running away from me." Sheppard mock-sighed and shook his head sadly. Then there was a pause in which Sheppard began to wax insufferable and Mitchell fished about desperately. 'Gating via the bridge was still the fastest way to get to Atlantis and the first prototype shuttle wasn't done yet. So no, he hadn't brought a shuttle. Then he had an idea.

"That's my shuttle up there." Smirking, Mitchell jerked a thumb towards the tiny white speck of the _Impala_ in the sky, just barely visible through the control room window.

"Dude, _what?_" Dean squawked from across the room. "My ship is _not_ a shuttle and it would so totally crush a 'jumper in a race. It doesn't even bear comparing."

Mitchell spread his hands disarmingly. "See? We don't have to have a race. I win."

Sheppard wasn't appeased. "Chicken."

"Boys." Ellen Harvelle's voice rang out clearly and firmly, sending everyone scuttling back to work.

And for a minute, that strong, calm tone reminded John Sheppard painfully of someone they had lost.

* * *

><p><em>T-3 hours<em>

"So tell me again, what happens if this goes screwy-sideways?" Dean demanded as he watched various geniuses jabber excitedly over the state of his shield generators and some odd-looking Atlantis tech.

Both Sams smiled at him sweetly. "Nothing much, it'll just induce a terminal feedback loop in the generators themselves and they'll burn out," Sam (Winchester) replied cheerfully.

Dean stared in disbelief. "And you want to do this in the middle of battle?"

McKay brushed by him. "Outta the road, I need to work, and don't be such a pansy, they won't burn out. Probably."

"Probably. Fan-fucking-tastic."

"Hey, at least_ Enterprise_ is going through the same thing," Sam Carter volunteered.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better how, exactly?"

* * *

><p><em>T-1 hour<em>

"Why exactly is it that we always have to hide?" Kirk demanded irritably.

"_Hey, you wanna swap places?"_

Kirk thought about it for a minute. "Nope, it's all you man. Only you could pull it off. You and your stellar ship, you."

"_Oh stow the bullshit Kirk."_

"Touchy, touchy. All right then. Let's test this thing. Sulu, activate the cloak."

"Activating cloak now, sir."

_Enterprise_'s power systems fluttered, fluctuated, dipped but eventually held, if grudgingly. "Scotty?"

"_Capt'n, I dinnae think Atlantis tech's meant to marry up with ours. The cloak's up but she's a huge drain on the dilithium crystals and I wouldna want to try shields at the same time as the cloak."_

McKay scowled at the report, scribbling away on his requisitioned PADD (Kirk wasn't sure they were going to get it back out of the scientist's hot little hands). "We knew that might happen and we're currently within operational parameters. The _Impala_ should have an easier time of it."

"_Yeah. Should," _Dean grumbled. _"Activate illusion."_

The _Enterprise_ crew watched in curiosity as the _Impala_ flickered out of existence, replaced by a slightly damaged Hive ship. Kirk whistled. "Hot damn. McKay, you're good." The Canadian preened under the unabashed praise.

"Yes, well, I am the foremost expert on Ancient technology."

"_Hey, that's Daniel's line,"_ Mitchell corrected over the comm. He and a flight of F-302s were standing by in the _Enterprise_'s hangar. _"Quit plagarizing!"_

"_Atlantis standing by,"_ Woolsey interrupted stiffly. Someone had to keep a sense of decorum in place. _"Clear communications of all non-essential traffic."_

"Spoilsport," Jack muttered, in the hangar two ships down from Mitchell.

* * *

><p>"Wraith ships detected in proximity," Zelenka reported. "Arriving on Starfleet sensors in five minutes."<p>

Dean had been more than a little frosted when he realized that his previously unmatched _Impala_ and her needle-sharp sensors were vastly surpassed in scope and detail by the mighty Atlantis scanners. Now he'd had time to get over it and could appreciate the craftsmanship.

Sam still found Dean's jealousy hilarious, judging from the hitch of laughter coming from the science station.

"Bobby, how are the power couplings?" Dean asked to distract himself from thoughts of Nair and superglue retribution.

"_Still holding Dean but the first shot we take, it's going to be all over. _Enterprise _had better be on the ball or _Impala_'s not going to exist anymore."_

"Pessimist," Dean replied fondly.

"_Idjit."_

With a grin, Dean waited for Sam to signal the start of the play. "Wraith ship hailing us," Sam said briefly a few minutes later.

"Do it, Daniel," Dean ordered.

Daniel picked up the funny little microphone and cleared his throat. Replying in Wraith through Ash and Sam's slapped-together voice changer, he said that they had accidentally stumbled across Atlantis, been damaged and had been holding off the 'jumpers for the past few days.

When Daniel finished, everyone held their breath. The sensors should be a little scrambled, the Wraith a little confused and no one could tell if Daniel had an awful accent or accidentally said something like "Your mother wears pink tutus and eats her own snot."

The gambit held. The Wraith ships drifted in closer, shields dropping. "Drones on my mark," Dean snapped. Sheppard cracked his knuckles and prepared to focus. This far from Atlantis, the little relay station he was using to keep the drones whizzing around the _Impala_ was a little scatterbrained and underpowered for the job at hand. Thus, Atlantis had sent their best gene user and he reached out mentally, feeling every drone crackling with energy. "Sheppard, if even one of those scratches my ship, there will be hell to pay," Dean cautioned.

"Relax, sunshine. I got this. Illusion drop on my mark in three, two, one, mark."

The illusion melted away, the power levels on the _Impala _rocketed, the drones arced out smashing into Wraith ships with punishing accuracy and the _Enterprise _roared out of hiding, phasers frantically firing in an attempt to cover for the fact that both Starfleet ships were currently shieldless.

It was a risky gamble but it paid off. In the time it took for the _Enterprise _to completely broadside the Hive ships, F-302s spilled from her hangar, the last one squeaking out before the shields snapped up and the Hive ships regained their equilibrium.

By that point, the _Impala _was back in the game and the Hive ships were clearly reeling despite having pulled up their own shields. Atlantis took the chance to send up a few more drones for Sheppard to use and the _Impala _slammed shots into the Hive ships with force and accuracy.

After that, it was relatively easy to bewilder, anger and provoke the Hive ships into doing stupid things, especially when the Starfleet ships seemed to shrug off Hive fire with all the grace and immutability of Atlantis herself.

When it was over, Hive debris littered the upper atmosphere of the planet and the Atlantis folk were hard-pressed not to gape in amazement. "I want one," Sheppard managed to say as he stood back to let the maintenance crew clean up the bridge from where a few consoles sparked and complained about the overload of power they'd been forced to channel.

Dean grinned, finishing his post-battle report. "Dude, only one _Impala_."

Sheppard hummed thoughtfully. "I've always wanted to be a pirate."

"Just try it," Dean challenged, only half-joking.

* * *

><p>Cleaning out the one remaining Hive ship so the Atlantis geeks could take it apart fell to the security officers of both ships and Ronon's handpicked team. Somehow, Daniel had also cajoled his way onto the team and tagged along at the back of the pack, noting every detail of the Wraith ship with academic curiosity.<p>

Ronon was taking point with the diminutive Jo Harvelle, a woman he had immediately recognized as tougher than most men. She actually reminded him of Teyla minus the serene grace that accompanied the Athosian. Instead, Harvelle had a cool practicality and a love affair with knives that Ronon highly approved of.

They swept the ship, securing and imprisoning the Wraith survivors with efficiency and a thorough attention to detail. No one needed a desperate Wraith jumping out of a closet to kill some poor unsuspecting scientist.

Ronon had just finished and returned to the bridge in time to hear Sheppard crowing about finally capturing a Hive ship as McKay buzzed about busily, happily making use of a Starfleet translator. Ronon was pretty sure the Starfleet people weren't getting that gadget back. He nodded to Sheppard. "Looks like the ship's clean but I wouldn't send any nerds off on their own."

"Sorry, what was that Uhura?" the one captain asked as he fiddled with a console and poked about curiously, getting a power zap for his trouble. "Pike _what?_"

The other captain looked up with mild panic. "Shit, they noticed that we're gone?"

* * *

><p><em>Atlantis<em>

Richard Woolsey had been very amused but rather unsurprised when he heard that the _Enterprise _and _Impala_ had not, in fact, gotten permission for their little jaunt out to the Pegasus Galaxy and were now getting the dress-down of their lives by an admiral who looked like he could give General George Hammond a run for his money.

Honestly, Woolsey was enjoying it. Possibly taking notes on how to handle impetuous heroes.

It ended with an edict stating the captains had to return ASAP, leave all SG-1 personnel (retired or otherwise) in their appropriate universe and they were _not_ allowed leave any shuttles behind or so help them, they'd wish they were assigned to ore runs in the gamma quadrant by the time Pike was done with them.

Then Pike said they'd done a good job and the whole spiel was undone in an instant, judging from the grins on the wayward captains and the weary glare sent across time and space. "Winchester, you _will_ stay out of trouble on this run back and get your ass back to the courier run you forgot to finish two months ago. Kirk, come pick me up at the SGC. Mr. Woolsey, a pleasure to meet you," Pike finished firmly.

Woolsey nodded back and shut the connection down before turning to the abashed captains. "If you think you're going to get into serious trouble, do let me know and I'll write up a commendation for you," he offered rather generously. Kirk grinned briefly and Winchester shrugged.

"Starfleet's used to us. We'll be fine. Just keep beating the shit out of the Wraith for us, will you?"

"That, I can promise."

* * *

><p><em>Enterprise<em>

"I'm sure I can talk Starfleet into making you our chief archaeologist," Kirk wheedled shamelessly as Daniel shook hands with Sam (Winchester) and nodded to Spock before giving Uhura a hug.

"Thanks Jim, but I've still got history to discover in this universe. I won't say no to the occasional freelance work though." Daniel grinned and held out a hand.

Reluctantly, Kirk shook it. "I'm going to take you up on that offer. Where's O'Neill?"

"_Jack!_" Daniel bellowed. "I'm leaving without you for that interesting planet with the carnivorous plants!" Turning to Kirk with a sly smile, he continued to talk at a decent volume, eyes trained on the doorway. "I'm not really looking forward to going out with SG-14 but one must make sacrifices for knowledge and the rookies have been getting better these days."

"Wait, what?" Jack demanded, suddenly having disentangled himself from an interesting conversation with Cupcake about appropriate away-team protocols. "You're not going anywhere with SG-14!"

Daniel yanked his wandering friend up onto the platform. "Come on. We've got some work to finish up on Atlantis before that and the Starfleet people need to get back to their universe." They dematerialized before Jack could protest again, leaving the ship empty of SGC personnel.

"Did we get that PADD back from McKay?" Kirk demanded of the security ensign he had assigned to keep track of the slightly kleptomaniac scientist.

The ensign blinked and fidgeted sheepishly.

Kirk rolled his eyes. "Whatever. As long as he didn't make off with the phaser arrays, I don't care."

* * *

><p><em>Atlantis<em>

Standing out on the control room balcony, Sheppard watched the two white specks suddenly flash out of existence, gone to warp. They'd be back in the Milky Way in under half the time it cost the _Prometheus_. _Impala_ would be at the inter-universal gate in four days, _Enterprise _at Earth in three.

"Mitchell was right. They're the best kind of people," he said conversationally to Ronon, who shrugged.

"Damn useful in a fight."

McKay wandered by the door, a Starfleet translator sticking out of his jacket pocket as he tapped away at the PADD he'd stuck in a rubberized case and labelled as his own with dire threats should anyone touch the superior piece of computing technology.

"I think," Teyla said thoughtfully, "that you like them so much because they are quite a lot like you." She shot her team leader a serene smile. "The best sort of people."


End file.
